What I Have In Mind

I am always amazed when I am hit by a thought or realization so powerful it takes my breath away or feels like I could be running into a wall. And often, it may seem so obvious or has been thought about by so many others.

The other night it struck me that no one knows me – every single thing about me. What I do, what I think, kind or nasty things I think about. I have some friends that know a bit about me, another group of friends that know other things, family members that know some other aspects about me, and a spouse that knows most everything. But no one knows it all. Well, except me. And it felt extremely isolating at first – to realize I could not have everyone know everything about me and be able to share that with someone. But it also felt a bit good too… like I have secrets all to myself. And, I suppose the bigger (and weirder thought) if I have secrets and a million thoughts a day no one else knows, what the hell is the woman next to me like in their mind? Or the guy a few feet away?

So obvious, but very overwhelming at the moment.

On our drive

For the (longish) car ride to and from school, typically the boys enjoy snacks and music, while playing with cars and reading books. Lately though, that was not enough to content them and we started listening to more audio books in the car. I will admit, I am not a huge fan of The Magic Treehouse books so those audio books were not grabbing my attention. But last week I found Little House on the Prairie at the library. It has been perfect for our drive. It is holding every one's attention and makes for a pleasant passing of time as Laura describes coming to and living in Kansas, with its golden waving grasses and wide sky. True we are in another part of Kansas and the land is much different than it was then. But it just makes me keep falling in love again to hear such lovely descriptions coupled with the views I am seeing each and everyday. Lovely sunrises and sunsets, golden green grasses, open land and a very big ever-changing sky. I am happy this week to find slivers of peace and happiness, as this week has offered few of those.