Since starting my job two weeks ago, life has felt extremely hectic. After each long (very long) day, I have to muster a little extra patience for my boys for the car ride home, dinner preparations, and bedtime rituals. Every moment seems valuable, time I have to be engaged doing something or spending time with one of the boys. Even watching movies or TV shows to take time to relax still means my hands should be busy. Needle felting or knitting a Christmas gift or folding laundry are perfect multi-tasking activities.
On top of having mental stress as I transition to work, there are physical pains too. My knees, unaccustomed to so much up and down all day (really, even with two kids) are in varying levels of pain.
And I am tired. In order to be ready for the next day, exercise two to three times a week and still have quality time to read or relax, I am up too late every night. I had grand plans to pace myself each day and be in bed by every night. Two hours after the children were in bed seemed like plenty of time to do a little bit of what I had to do and do a little of what I wanted to do. The reality of packing snacks for the car, running errands, checking email and the bank statements, planning meals, coordinating schedules, and many more things means I am just finishing those have-to-do things up by 10:00. And then I want to do something to unwind since I feel I could not possibly fall asleep after the energy put forth getting all the other work done.
These are my personal struggles with a new job, not to even address any transition difficulties at my new job!
But what is making it better is reflecting on the good happening. While Oliver is exposed to new children/friends and starting in the Montessori toddler community, where he has transitioned so much better than expected, he is still in the bumpy beginning. He is bring home a few bad habits from other children (more screaming, more pushing, and a bite here and there) and he is still upset to part from me on the community playground where we see each other two to three times a day. The good that is really making me feel good is seeing Elliott’s progress at his school. After a conference with his teacher, I can tell he is rapidly taking to materials and lessons he could not or would not do with me, growing beyond friendships with younger children to encompass children his own age while still helping and caring for younger friends, and developing a strong sense of ownership and responsibility towards his new community at school. The way he acts and talks about his school in two short months makes me feel that whatever stress and sacrifice it takes will be worth it.
And a positive note for me... with all the activity of my classroom and lack of sheer time to eat, or energy to even eat, I am down to my weight before I had Elliott, beating my original goal of weight loss. So in 10 months, I have lost 22 pounds, 17 of that in the past 3 months. It feels good to cinch my belt tighter and contemplate a trip to the thrift store for another size of clothing, one I have not seen in over 7 years.
Here are pictures of the past few weeks… And they may not be perfectly cropped or altered for lighting. But, like I said, it is a bit hectic here. I know you will be understanding.
Elliott is making a dog toy with the yarn and knitting dolly.
After coloring his window art at home and reading about cathedrals with stained glass Elliott was writing about it with the movable alphabet. Here is what he was conveying: stained glass is stained. rose w_____ (windows)...
Oliver's first day of school
Elliott is working with older boys in the class on the addition bank game. Seeing him work with the golden bead materials is so thrilling since it was something we could not do one-on-one in our home environment. It is such a strong foundational material for mathematics in the classroom too.
Elliott is sorting blindfolded, a fun game with a purpose!
Elliott was thrilled to fill three rugs when writing with the movable alphabet. Words listed, translated from phonetic spelling as needed: cat, bat, sat, boo, root, cake, back, jat (?), bat, sat, bad, sad, rats, boot, hoolhoop, bob, sob, blood, cup, pup. While Elliott can write print, I am happy he is getting back on course with cursive (teaching cursive first was my training too). While he develops a hand for writing cursive with a pencil, he can still write as much as he wants, and much faster, with the movable alphabet.
Grace and courtesy practice with friends - Elliott is the visitor being served tea. Elliott felt very proud to be allowed to serve Mr. Jim, a visitor to the classroom later.
Soldier for the 'yoonyin' (as written by Elliott) for Halloween
Oliver as a firefighter. By the second house, he knew to run to the door and demand 'treeeat!"
On a day off from school, Elliott got to go to K State with Mike, napping while Mike did meetings with students.
Elliott went to the art museum with Mike to draw on his day off of school.
Elliott created his own dog, Fang, to demonstrate he could care for him and walk him on a leash to prove he is ready for a hamster. So far, Addy's bowl has been a bit dry at times, and her stomach has to growl a bit before he notices. We may be a little ways off from a pet hamster.
Sleep or shall I say the way little boys go to sleep around here was slowly becoming a battlefield. It seems we cycle through easy phases and challenging ones with sleep. Elliott was moving back into a challenging one – getting up to go potty, needing to say good night to Daddy since he forgot, coming to see what was happening or tell us one last thing. And since Mike and I are overtired and just ready to work on our own tasks without constant interruption, this is enough to drive us batty and make us quite angry. Which, I always need to remind myself, does not solve the problem. Since I was reading a Love and Logic book, on recommendation from Elliott’s Montessori school, I decided to try a different approach, a gentler approach, seeing as how getting angry was not helping Elliott relax into sleep. (Hm. Wonder why?)
In looking over my old documents, I found a chart I made way back when, at another challenging sleep period. Yes, I type nearly everything and save it all, just in case! I also found a morning chart called The Morning High Five, which I had downloaded and considered using a while ago. Combining both of these for the past two days has really seemed helpful to get Elliott back on track and hopefully over the bumpy patch.
In the morning, Elliott simply works his way through the five simple things written and illustrated on the chart that are his responsibility. Since he wakes up in the morning in his room and his clothing is there, we hung the chart on his bedroom door. Our list included: eat breakfast (which to him also means clear his plates), make bed, get dressed (which also means clean up pajamas), brush teeth, and put away toys. Elliott interpreted it to mean he needs to complete steps 1 through 4 so he can actually get out toys to play with. That also works just fine for our mornings. Once all are done and we are headed out the door to school, we review the list and, you guessed it, give a high five. Sounds corny, but I think it will help as the past two mornings have felt a bit smoother.
In the evenings, Elliott was well aware of the general routine as it has been the same for some time. But having a check list makes it crystal clear without verbal reminders from me. I could hear him tonight telling himself that next he needed to go have his last potty chance. But, different from last time when we used the night time chart, I explained that if he said his last good night and remained in bed to get his rest, the next evening he would be well rested to stay up for five extra minutes of story time. On the nights he felt compelled to act silly or pop out of bed, he would not have the rest he needed and would need to go to bed early, thus shorter story time the next evening. This chart we posted on our bedroom door since Elliott falls asleep in our room. Little brother does his best to keep big brother awake at night so we felt it was best to keep them seperate as they fell asleep.
Bedtime chart, missing tonight's marks and with Elliott's accidental 'X' thru the cup
For the past two nights, not a peep has been heard from Elliott after last big hugs and kisses and the door closes. Now, Oliver on the other hand… That is a problem for another day. Perhaps I will have to pull out that bedtime book we made once upon a time for big brother at this age…
Here is a link to Morning High Five and I have posted my chart below, if it can be of any service to you, if you are suffering through any morning or bedtime troubles we are (were!) going through.
* Unfortunately, since making the chart customized to each family means moving images and words in this chart, I do not have something like that on here, only this picture you can print. But it was easy to create - just finding fun images online and making a basic chart. If I recall Elliott may have helped the first time with that very task. Or write the list and draw the pictures together with your child.
