Adjusting

Since starting my job two weeks ago, life has felt extremely hectic. After each long (very long) day, I have to muster a little extra patience for my boys for the car ride home, dinner preparations, and bedtime rituals. Every moment seems valuable, time I have to be engaged doing something or spending time with one of the boys. Even watching movies or TV shows to take time to relax still means my hands should be busy. Needle felting or knitting a Christmas gift or folding laundry are perfect multi-tasking activities.

On top of having mental stress as I transition to work, there are physical pains too. My knees, unaccustomed to so much up and down all day (really, even with two kids) are in varying levels of pain.

And I am tired. In order to be ready for the next day, exercise two to three times a week and still have quality time to read or relax, I am up too late every night. I had grand plans to pace myself each day and be in bed by 10:00 every night. Two hours after the children were in bed seemed like plenty of time to do a little bit of what I had to do and do a little of what I wanted to do. The reality of packing snacks for the car, running errands, checking email and the bank statements, planning meals, coordinating schedules, and many more things means I am just finishing those have-to-do things up by 10:00. And then I want to do something to unwind since I feel I could not possibly fall asleep after the energy put forth getting all the other work done.

These are my personal struggles with a new job, not to even address any transition difficulties at my new job!

But what is making it better is reflecting on the good happening. While Oliver is exposed to new children/friends and starting in the Montessori toddler community, where he has transitioned so much better than expected, he is still in the bumpy beginning. He is bring home a few bad habits from other children (more screaming, more pushing, and a bite here and there) and he is still upset to part from me on the community playground where we see each other two to three times a day. The good that is really making me feel good is seeing Elliott’s progress at his school. After a conference with his teacher, I can tell he is rapidly taking to materials and lessons he could not or would not do with me, growing beyond friendships with younger children to encompass children his own age while still helping and caring for younger friends, and developing a strong sense of ownership and responsibility towards his new community at school. The way he acts and talks about his school in two short months makes me feel that whatever stress and sacrifice it takes will be worth it.

And a positive note for me... with all the activity of my classroom and lack of sheer time to eat, or energy to even eat, I am down to my weight before I had Elliott, beating my original goal of weight loss. So in 10 months, I have lost 22 pounds, 17 of that in the past 3 months. It feels good to cinch my belt tighter and contemplate a trip to the thrift store for another size of clothing, one I have not seen in over 7 years.

Here are pictures of the past few weeks… And they may not be perfectly cropped or altered for lighting.  But, like I said, it is a bit hectic here. I know you will be understanding.

Elliott is making a dog toy with the yarn and knitting dolly.

After coloring his window art at home and reading about cathedrals with stained glass Elliott was writing about it with the movable alphabet. Here is what he was conveying: stained glass is stained. rose w_____ (windows)...

Oliver's first day of school

  

Elliott is working with older boys in the class on the addition bank game. Seeing him work with the golden bead materials is so thrilling since it was something we could not do one-on-one in our home environment. It is such a strong foundational material for mathematics in the classroom too.

Elliott is sorting blindfolded, a fun game with a purpose!

Elliott was thrilled to fill three rugs when writing with the movable alphabet. Words listed, translated from phonetic spelling as needed: cat, bat, sat, boo, root, cake, back, jat (?), bat, sat, bad, sad, rats, boot, hoolhoop, bob, sob, blood, cup, pup. While Elliott can write print, I am happy he is getting back on course with cursive (teaching cursive first was my training too). While he develops a hand for writing cursive with a pencil, he can still write as much as he wants, and much faster, with the movable alphabet.

Grace and courtesy practice with friends - Elliott is the visitor being served tea. Elliott felt very proud to be allowed to serve Mr. Jim, a visitor to the classroom later.

Soldier for the 'yoonyin' (as written by Elliott) for Halloween

Oliver as a firefighter. By the second house, he knew to run to the door and demand 'treeeat!"

On a day off from school, Elliott got to go to K State with Mike, napping while Mike did meetings with students.

Elliott went to the art museum with Mike to draw on his day off of school.

Elliott created his own dog, Fang, to demonstrate he could care for him and walk him on a leash to prove he is ready for a hamster. So far, Addy's bowl has been a bit dry at times, and her stomach has to growl a bit before he notices. We may be a little ways off from a pet hamster.

New job

So I spend time planning, shopping, chopping, slicing, dicing, all in the name of serving a healthy home cooked meal. And the boys generally eat some of it and I feel good. But I cannot think of the last meal they asked for seconds of. Typically, they sample some of everything, eat their favorite item, and then scoot off to play.

Tonight was different. Elliott asked for more after eating a giant bowl. Then Oliver, the child who I have never heard spontaneously demand more dinner, cried out “More!” We had a busy afternoon after naps with a job conference call, playing at the park and carousel, and a quick trip to the library. So, when we walked in the door, little time was left for dinner.

I bet you want to know what they wanted more of.

Ramen noodles. Ramen frinkin’ noodles. With a side of green beans, which neither boy touched. Elliott showered praised on the noodle, saying how great they were, such a good food for winter, how we needed to buy more.

Normally this would be a blow to me. I like cooking good, healthy meals and see some enjoyment come from them. Today though I learned my new job in a primary Montessori classroom would start a week earlier than I originally thought and I am suffering through lots of (pre-)working parent stress about the decision. I am thrilled both my boys will be able to attend Montessori schools as I had hoped, and stay enrolled all year long, now that I have a paycheck to afford it. But it will be long days for everyone. Will the boys be happy going to school full days? How will Oliver transition to all day away from home and mom with so many new, young children around? How will I handle the sick days and schedule conflicts with boys at two different schools? Can the dog wait all day for us to care for her? How will this effect Oliver’s sleep and his moods, (hopefully) napping at school and then going to bed much later than normal? How will I cope with the new position I am walking into, the class and the staff all in their rhythm? Will we have enough down time for everyone when we are home? Will I have enough energy leftover for the boys at the end of the day?

So with all that on my mind for the past four weeks, well, really as long as I have been applying for jobs, I can find a little comfort that the boys happily and heartily eat ramen noodles. I think we will be buying and eating more of that in the near future, for some of the nights we roll in the door and dinner needs to be on the table in five minutes.

With that said, to all the few readers who do pop over here, I will likely cease blogging. I will keep the site open, just in case. But with such a high value now placed on free time, the list of things I would rather be doing with the boys will win out nearly every time. So I am not saying good bye, but I know it might be a long break.